Monday, June 11, 2018

The body I'm in

Growing up I never remember me being chubby , I was always skinny . I ate more than my siblings still I was skinny . People always thought I was anorexic. Every single relative that I have always commented on my weight over and over again , where ever I would go I would meet people that would say I'm ugly , I look diseased , some even said I should get myself checked for HIV . Its not their fault actually the country I live is habituated to accept curvy body structure only . I think I was in 7th grade where I couldn't handle all these accusations of being anorexic so I started cutting myself , I was a rough child I played too many sports  I always had wounds on my body so my parents never really asked me about it , cutting myself was the way of relieving my anger at that age , I would never wish any child should go throw self harming , Its like some part in you just died, It went for 2years. We bought a dog in this meantime and he kind of bought out the inner peace in me , at one point I was like if he could love me the way I'm I should love myself too. It was so simple like that I stopped self harming and accepting my body structure . Now I think about it my grandfather was thin , my great grandmother was thin and these are the people who raised me , who inspire me I got their bodystructure and  there is absolutely nothing bad about it.


The second blow up angel in my life was my dentist , my teeth come out a bit when I smile ,  and its similar I always got mocked for it , I remember he said " if I would have to get braces that might not work , get rid of my four teeth and wear night braces for rest of my life I would rather stick to my teeth as they are" I donno if there are new solutions now a days but his words made me never wanting to have braces.

When I was 16 or so I had bad acne , terrible menstrual cramps , breast lumps (fibroadenoma) . Every time I had my periods I vomited everything out , I would become severely hypoglycemic and diarrhea , my dysmenorrhea  was so bad at a point I couldn't take it because there were times I had to be admitted in hospital with 70/60Bp . So after a brief study I would cut down my salt , caffeine and dairy intake and still people wont believe how my acne got cleared ,  how the lumps are gone , I don't have cramps of that extreme and I don't have vomitings nor diarrhea . Its so amazing how a simple modification of diet would help me to wide extent , but that was not the hard part many people/relatives I knew started giving me lectures as they were so butthurt that I have completely cut off Dairy and pickles which according to them are major staples of food , It was funny how they would prefer those over me being healthy .  But the end of the day I listened to my mind.

People ask me you are a doctor how can you look like this,  see I'm a skinny doctor whose blood reports , overall health reports are normal , if I have a obese  patient whose diabetic Ofcorse I'll tell him/her loss weight , if I have a thin patient whose anaemic I'll tell him/her to eat well , If I have a healthy patient why would I comment on their body structure .

Even though now a days we have people that support body positivity but it'll take another 100more years for entire world to change,  Instead we can change ourselves , we should make ourselves strong that's the only thing we can do.  Thin,  dark,  fat,  or whatever these are not our flaws they are just our body types  if we are strong enough to accept that , we can accept anything !!!


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