Saturday, July 30, 2016

Being irresistible

I’m not a person who is likable in first meeting I mean when I was a kid people loved my ideas of being independent and gender equality, as I grew up still some extent people loved them but now when we finally crossed our 20s people started hating them all of a sudden….

Most people who were completely encouraging the idea got married and started to contradict me I mean ladies in their 20s litrally see me as a psychopath.😂

Irony is that I never urged people to change I never told them to be independent it was my own view from the beganing.

Seriously guys I’m never against marriage but get married, cook for him , clean for him , become directionless , wait for him to come home I’m against this whole process. If someone willfully want to live that life I’m not against them but it’s not my cup of tea.

So after reaching 20s many started to hate my views only because even if I get married I wanted to be independent, I wanted to have kids like after 10–15yrs or never because it is never my priority, enjoying my life , reaching high peaks of my career ,travelling and helping my community is my first priority not having a baby in my belly. P.s I don’t hate kids I have litrally babysat all my younger cousins , kids are real angels in the world.

I’m not saying people who have kids doesn’t enjoy their life it’s just that people who have kids have a solo goal that is to have a child and people with my mindset are not fit for it. In India where I live by the time you reach 26 you are supposed to get married and have a kid 😑 . The people who are raised with this mindset hate me . The thing I don’t understand is when they are free to hate my views I’m free to have views isn’t it ???

Yes I never wore a saree but I’m true to my ethics , I don’t like going to temple but I read Bagwathgeeta daily , people like me are like onion peels there is still lot more layers inside us. Society just sees the outer coat and decides we are mean ruthless posh chics ruining Indian culture.

Why do you think I get hate inspite of not bothering anyone well it’s because I thought differently not like a typical Indian . India is a community where still things are ancient I daily see patients who are married off at 17 or even less get pregnant within a year not given a chance to think if they want it or not and not to mention most of them are forced to have a male child.

If someone like me with open mind live in this society they are continously mocked until you give up because according to most people here you have to be someone’s wife and someone’s mother to be approved in the society. Even if you are married if you say I’m a doctor or engineer or scientist rather than someone’s wife you are bad.

Most of my friends say it’s better to leave the country but if all people like us leave the country who is going to change it. When I thought it’s slowly changing I have seen underaged gals getting married and forced to have kids.

If every educated like me chooses to be a puppet for the society’s sake when is it going to change. When will people start to think getting married or having a kids is just a part of life but it’s never should be made as someone’s solo goal.

The whole point of writing this post is if you are a supporter of gender equality and freedom just like me you should probably be getting hate and being mocked by everyone just learn being irresistible they may hate you but they’ll never forget your views and ideas …

NOTE: I’m not a lonely depressed person I have ton of friends who support me ,my childhood friends are still my best friends blessed to have them 😊✌.

Saturday, July 2, 2016

They said I was ugly

Being an Indian I would say body shaming is like one of the things I don’t like in our community. I’m skinny and I’m subjected to body shaming almost every single day of my life.

There was a time when I was very much effected because of it I used to stay away from people , parties and reunions etc .

So heres the thing I never through out my life did fasting, I can’t bare hunger, I love eating I’m a big foodie and an awesome cook. So it was never like I didn’t eat I always ate still stayed thin.

From childhood where ever I go people would say I’m ugly because I’m super thin. All those distant relatives or family friends. I remember once it was my cousin’s wedding one old lady she saw me and she was like my god she’s very thin and ugly how she’ll get a husband in future and all that. It’s not like I’m super thin I’m 5’5 and 50kgs , it’s just that my bone weight is more and people who are close to me know I eat like a pig. Travelling and eating good food is my thing but I seriously never understand why I don’t grow body mass.

After this social media came and it kind of became hell for me at one point because almost every week I used to get atleast 5 messages on Facebook from some friends saying I’m thin and ugly, when ever I uploaded any pic of mine (it happens even now) people would comment saying you are a doctor but you look like a patient or simply “thin”, many times it hurts because they are family.

Outsiders comments didn’t hurt me much because I always had a shield of friends from childhood but when my own family used to do it I was very hurt . Like very recently some one very close said “you would never find love of your life because you are thin and unattractive” .

Sometimes my mom’s friends would show up all those overly obese women would tell me that I’m ugly and thin.

I in perticular hate this in India because if you are fat or skinny these people no matter how good you are at studies, how well you are in your profession all will either comment on you or show pity because according to them if you are skinny or fat you are ugly and you can’t get a husband and you will forever stay alone.

There was a time when I went for all those silly tests like for thyroid , type 1 diabetes , hb% my levels were normal and I didn’t have any disease , my doctor kept telling me you don’t have anything wrong with you its just your body type but I had to do it because there were bunch of people who were completely nagging me that there was something wrong with me and half of them were closely related to me.

It was in med school where I really realised because I didn’t had those shield of childhood friends this time , I was very much on my own and it was just matter of realization. I started not to care , I was so positive about it and people saw me all the time so slowly all would know that I eat more but stay thin yet outside med school still this positivity doesn’t work because I still get comments from like family , long lost friends and sometimes even strangers.

I have heard the word ugly and thin so many times I guess it made me super strong. I remember once a stranger in a bustop she actually called me just to tell me I’m ugly and thin I replied to her sarcastically “thanks , what can I do I’m not as beautiful as you” and I still remember her face she was so awestruck in guilt .

I mean in course of life we only remember people who hurt us more but we always forget people who admire us for what we are I mean I remember when my 12th was coming to an end there were so many people who advised me to take modelling instead of med school , there were boys who said I look good, I remember an incident it was new years eve I was waiting for my friend there was this boy who came and gave a rose flower to me and said I’m just giving it to you because you are so beautiful ( l didn’t take the flower I got scared and walked away) , there are friends of mine who always say they are jealous of me because I eat too much and still stay thin anyways I just wanted to make a point that there was/is so much good happening in my life and I was depressed seeing the negative side instead of seeing all the positive things happening around me.

I don’t how I got the realization almost 4 years back probably because of all the new people those came into my life . There were times when I cried alone because I don’t like crying infront of people now I just stay happy and I just compensate all those sad days by staying happy everyday. I got so many baes and most importantly I love myself more than anything.

So all of you who are facing body shaming like me please just don’t care , enjoy what you have, most importantly love yourself. People will comment but what is important is what you think of yourself.

Sunday, November 15, 2015

A confused life

Moving around the hospital daily I never understand one thing that why people cry so much for small wounds which will recover some day. Are they crying because of pain? But why? Don't you think the real pain is given by life itself??The pain of loosing some one...The pain of betrayal...The pain of being alone...The pain of being tortured...The pain of getting cheated...I wonder why people never understand this..we care, we mind , we cry for those who never even consider us and at some moment of life we forget about thepeople who had always been with us, we hardly thank them.why would some one jump from a hill top for a girl he loves at the same time why would he never think about his parents who are living for him???why do people who make us cry become special and who give us time become ordinary???why do people cry when someone die? death is bitter truth of life isn't it? why would people never want to believe it??I know everyone including me live with these assumptions but just felt like writing about it...

Saturday, May 9, 2015

IS IT A MAN'S WORLD ??

Is it a man's world we are living in ? Male domination I know its always subjected to feminism let me clear you all that I'm not a feminist I just believe in equality I donno if it happens in your country or not but it happens everywhere in my country so I have written a small poem on it....

A woman says....

You just called me dumb,
I was born just like you with many dreams and aspirations,
I have forgo my dreams for your sake and to take care of our kids,
I did it because you can't,
Then how can I be dumb?

You said I can't wear this,
Can you be comfortable wearing what you don't like?
You can't,
Then how can I be?

You tell me to listen and do whatever your parents say,
If  I ignore even once you scold,
I become bad,
But have you ever listened to my parents even once?

I cook , clean and set up a better home for you,
Not because I'm a maid or your wife,
I do it because I love you,
I expect you to do the same for me.

For all the lies you said to sleep with me,
For all the lies you said to marry me,
I forgive you,
Not because you are superior to me only because I love you.

When ever you ask for dowry it hurts me,
Because I never wished to buy you,
And what price would you give me?
For taking care of you till you die.

I know I'm a butt of jokes on the internet,
I just want to remember all the special days I spent with you,
Is it wrong?
I just expect you to feel special about me like the way I  do about you.

When you are caught having an affair I forgive you,
Not because you are superior,
Only for all those beautiful memories you gave me,
You also know you can never do the same for me so be thankful.

When I was young most men looked at me vulgarly,
As of I'm an object,
Now I get the same feeling of creepiness from you,
What should I do?

I don't want kids because I still have dreams to fulfill,
But you and your family want,
So I bare utmost pain and bring them into this world,
And you never help me in taking care of them.

Do you think I deserve it?
No it don't ,
I deserve much better and independent life ,
I'm doing all these just because I love you.

So whenever you see a woman,
Don't mock at her ,
Don't pass vague comments on her,
Don't look at her private parts vulgarly,
Don't touch her vulgarly and pass as if you didn't,
Don't eve tease her,
Respect her for what she is,
Yes you have heard right respect and equality that's all what she want.

Because....

She is the one who can go through utmost hardships for you,
As a mother, wife ,sister,daughter she never disappoints you,
Admit it she's the creator of the world but she never shows it,
She makes you miss her in her absence,
She's filled with elegance,
She can make you cross continents in her love,
She teaches you what love is,
She teaches you how to care,
You feel  warm and secured under her arms,
She makes you feel special,
Out of all the people in this world she's the only one who genuinely trusts you,
When you are at your low she's the only one who supports you.

But.....

She doesn't deserve to get raped ,
She doesn't deserve to get scared and terrified when ever she's alone,
She doesn't deserve to be restricted,
She deserves much more,
If she's the creator of this word she can also be the destroyer,
So please don't awake the bitter side of her.


          In the dreams of equality
~sudhi~



Tuesday, May 21, 2013

BEING YOU

As far as I know I never shared this story with anyone but today I felt like sharing it . I was a fun loving kid in school I had this serious problem of stammering hard words and when ever teacher used to make me read any thing hard it was my worst nightmare I used to have a problem of spelling and writing hard words and as predicted I became an easy prey for most of my fellow classmates. My childhood was beautiful nevertheless but till date if anyone ask me who was your good friend at school I would still stay numb my elementary school days were awful, I was  an Intelligent kid yet I had many flaws  but when I was in 4th grade things went so worst that I have finally decided to fight it back.I started to participate in all sorts of speaking programs I still remember when I faced the crowed for first  time I wasn't able to utter a single word (then I thought in my mind that if not now then never ) but from then to now public speaking is one of my favorite hobbies.

Latter people felt they could not make fun of my speach anymore so they started to make fun of my looks , "you look ugly" that is a common word I hear so often but at first I used to get so blank when ever some used to say that . It hurts like hell when people say that but at some moments of life you should overcome it . "Yes I'm ugly whats your problem?" just ask this question to any one who discriminate you......

Today I see many kids who are subjected to bullying  at  schools I would tell to be the TANKMAN
(the man stood in the front column of Chinese type59tanks bravely even after Chinese military forcibly removed the protesters)     

Until you are scared everyone around you will bully but it's only upto you whether you take a step or not....

In your difficulties not your parents , neither your sibling nor friends it's YOU who can save yourself....


The day when you find yourself precious no such words can harm you........  That's what I learned from my past experiences ....

The day when you get scared and sad everyone will bully you more , loose everything but not confidence and will power to fight 

Last but not the least I would like to say value yourself don't loose it for anyone's sake!!!!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Dark side of chocolate......!!!

When I remember my childhood I remember about my toys ,my school and chocolate... Chocolate is sweetest thing in any kid's life but I don't think so because can you imagine friends  kids between  6-12years  forced to work in coco fields which collectively supplies 69percent of world's coco at  Cote d'lvoire  of West Africa.  1.8 million innocent  children are are involved growing cocoa because they are subjected to slavery ..

 

Most of these kids are beaten up , half fed and literally treated like animals .
 

Most of us even never tie our pet dogs but these kids are even tied up ..



We are in 21st century where world is moving fast at one part and  it is still a shameful fact that the other part of world  is in trafficking  and slavery. 

What is pleasure of eating chocolate when it is mixed with tears and pain of these  children .....

I  posted about this so that I could bring awareness and if people combine together to fight for these kids may be someday they will get  their freedom.

Can you imagine guys kids of same age as kids at your home forced to work day and night in cocoa fields who don't even know why they are doing it and  who never ever tasted chocolate !!!

I know it is difficult to stand  and shout about this in this huge world but it is not impossible if we spread it through social media. I did my part and I hope people who read this will spread about it!!!


I wish some day these kids go to school ,have  a normal childhood and above all I wish they learn to dream.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Is Suicide a crime????

Hello friends, today I may have come with a negative topic but it is a question that is been wondering in my mind since a long time, seriously friends I don't feel suicide is a crime . People might think what the hell she is saying but....

2years back I heard the story of a 12year old girl Lakshmi , she was gang raped while  returning from school . 5months later she committed suicide  unable to handle the pressure, just imagine 12year old kid thought of ending her life, when I was 12year old I don't even know what suicide is. Just imagine her feeling when the society and her parents treated her as sin and the bastards who raped her were released on bail after 15days . So if that child committed suicide society had a big hand in it.  Just imagine friends how many kids like Lakshmi  might be dying because of discrimination . Those criminals might be living happy as no one question them. 

For every 40seconds one person die committing suicide. Are  they really dying because they are cowards??? They are dying because they don't have answers??? 

In 2008 three sisters from Gujarat  committed suicide because they were HIV positives, all thought they did so because of their disease but the real reason was different .   Aren't we taught from childhood that AIDS don't spread through air or by touching or being with them ??!  Why do many us forget that! These three kids died because they were discriminated to such extent that  nor children and even the teacher used to not even enter the class room in their presence , their relatives started to hate them and their school principle gave them termination letter for no mistake .  I don't think they were cowards. If society is not letting them live obviously people think of death.

Normally people say that cowards commit suicide but I think it take lot of guts to die, If a person is dying its not completely his mistake its partially the mistake of the society too.

Once I heard about a 21year old girl from Orissa  who committed suicide as she was stripped infront of all villagers for loving somebody from the other tribe in rural India. She committed suicide unable to bare the insult . She was 21 she had right to make her own  decisions how could some one just do that to her.

you wont believe it friends but in many parts of world  people even commit mass suicides. Isn't it weird cause human is the only living being which end its life forcefully in emotions. I don't say suicide is correct its just that people consider it as crime.

There are many moments in everyone's life when we feel we lost everything and don't felt like living but for most of us are lucky as there are always people around us who console us , comfort us in such situations. I feel sad for those other half of people with dark past that we dint create any system to console them.

I don't understand why most of them treat disabled people, people from streets and people subjected to various abuse as if its their fault, If the society treated them good I don't think the above people or people  like them would have ended their lives .

If one is dealing with his own mental pressure  and ended his life it is their own mistake but if people are discriminated and forced to end their own life it is not completely their mistake but it is partially mistake of society.

My intention of writing this post is not to support suicides but I just wanted to share the dark side of society, some where  I feel sympathetic towards these people. I know we cant heel the entire world but we can try to change it after all what matters is change!